Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
