I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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