I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize