Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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