idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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