this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
