it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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