I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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