First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
