fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Let's get the cat blown out
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
