Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize