if you like me you must not know who I am
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
