I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
