yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
