He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
