we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
