i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize