why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize