Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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