let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
