as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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