That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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