Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
