Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
