she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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