If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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