i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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