i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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