I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
