have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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