She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
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If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
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Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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