i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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