Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
