I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
