Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize