that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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