He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
