I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize