They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
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i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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