this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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