1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
