So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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