..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
