2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize