Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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