Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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