apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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