you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
