So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
