dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize