Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.

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  (540): I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form. http://tfl.nu/y5wx
  Replies (10) Good night (464) Bad night (3213)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.

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  (417): He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets. (417): He's like the Bob Ross of love stains. http://tfl.nu/ts5r
  Replies (14) Good night (3574) Bad night (738)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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  (816): You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!" http://tfl.nu/vlcz
  Replies (46) Good night (16228) Bad night (1256)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This gyro tastes like lonliness

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  (402): This gyro tastes like lonliness http://tfl.nu/d72i
  Replies (14) Good night (879) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.

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  (248): How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/a52b
  Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (1482)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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  (703): If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house? http://tfl.nu/eww0
  Replies (5) Good night (2522) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  oh. my. god. yes.

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  (360): i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life. (1-360): oh. my. god. yes. http://tfl.nu/jrnd
  Replies (14) Good night (5825) Bad night (1451)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.

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  (918): he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond. http://tfl.nu/174e
  Replies (4) Good night (1755) Bad night (863)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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  (518): Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat. http://tfl.nu/lwgj
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (3430)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers

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  (678): im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers http://tfl.nu/b3az
  Replies (10) Good night (1586) Bad night (437)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.

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  (660): On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics. http://tfl.nu/mn1y
  Replies (24) Good night (2750) Bad night (484)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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  (775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (297)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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  (902): It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected http://tfl.nu/ecct
  Replies (4) Good night (782) Bad night (305)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

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  (612): ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO! http://tfl.nu/1dq3
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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  (770): I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/srdm
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (236)

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