mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.