Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
