Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
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I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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