talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
