She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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