On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
