dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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