He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Still dying that you shit outside
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
