Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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