Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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