we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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