Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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